What do you call an unhealthy glow on your face after a week long cocaine bender?
Charlie Sheen.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
Why does neon glow?
Because it it didn’t, we’d had to call it neoff.
My girlfriend has started requesting ribbed, flavored, and glow-in-the-dark condoms instead of being satisfied with regular ones.
I can’t keep up with the drastic changes in Lifestyles.
Stupid people are like glow sticks.
I want to snap them and shake the shit out of them until the light comes on.
Scientists have invented an alcohol that glows in the dark.
In other words, you can now get drunk and enlightened at the same time.
What do you call a group of suspicious glowing pornstars?
Illuminaughties!
Horny glow bugs…
are fucking lit.
What did the police officer say to the firefly?
Who glows there?
Whats the difference between this girl I just met and a lightbulb?
The light bulb is bright and looks glowing.
Plus I can unscrew it.
Why did the moth stick to the bride’s face?
Because she was *GLOWING*.
My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills
But then my Dad reminded me: money doesn’t glow on tees.
What do you call a flower that glows in the dark?
A light bulb.
My dog has a glow-in-the-dark tennis ball
We try not to leave it in the yard on sunny days, because that would lead to glow ball warming.
Between songs, a flickering orange light glows near the band’s speakers
Son: His amp is on fire!
Dad: it’s an amplifire!
What do you call cheese that glows in the dark?
Halloumi-nescent.
If the moon is made out of cheese, how does it glow?
It hallouminates.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
I stared at the ceiling bulb glowing for a long time.
It was the high-light of my life.
My dad walks in glowing with his new bald hair style:
Me: Oh, you got a haircut!
Dad: stops smiling and states No, I got them all cut.
What do you call a pun that glows?
I don’t know, there is no pun-shine.
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