30 Very Punny Jokes which are the best form of humor ever

Before we start let’s define a little bit what is pun: Wielded by anyone but a true master, a pun is the lowest form of humor. However, wielded by a master, a pun is the highest, purest form of humor possible by humans. Puns are a dark art, much like necromancy. Raising the dead will get you killed. Raising a pun with your killer sense of humor will get you killed, making it a grave mistake, even if you were dead serious. So we can say we make very punny jokes when we make jokes using wordplay.

Now that we know what it is, let’s see the best and funniest Punny Jokes:

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  1. About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.
  2. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
  3. Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.
  4. Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
  5. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
  6. “Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
  7. My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
  8. I just found out I’m colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
  9. The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
  10. My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
  11. Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
  12. What’s the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nut are under a buck.
  13. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  14. I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
  15. Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
  16. Atheists don’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.
  17. What did E.T.’s mother say to him when he got home? “Where on Earth have you been?!”
  18. eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
  19. I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
  20. What do you call a dictionary on drugs? HIGH-Definition.
  21. My girlfriend said, “You act like a detective too much. I want to split up.” “Good idea,” I replied. “We can cover more ground that way.”
  22. I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts’ which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.
  23. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
  24. I always wanted to marry an Archeologist. The older I would get, the more interested she would become!
  25. I ordered 2000 lbs. of chinese soup. It was Won Ton.
  26. A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where is the bar tender?”
  27. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
  28. Oxygen is proven to be a toxic gas. Anyone who inhales oxygen will normally dies within 80 years.
  29. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
  30. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay. He woke up.
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